I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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