I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
