You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
