So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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