Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs! http://tfl.nu/87u7
  Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny." http://tfl.nu/6v00
  Replies (8) Good night (1067) Bad night (5994)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee http://tfl.nu/ouc6
  Replies (23) Good night (5786) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?

  (1-218): View more from Minnesota

  Both?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants? (1-218): Both? http://tfl.nu/yr9r
  Replies (21) Good night (9357) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up http://tfl.nu/nnr4
  Replies (5) Good night (3558) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team. http://tfl.nu/53x1
  Replies (11) Good night (3122) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition. http://tfl.nu/0um3
  Replies (5) Good night (1900) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top. http://tfl.nu/ogkq
  Replies (4) Good night (1402) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react http://tfl.nu/5bkg
  Replies (7) Good night (1448) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock http://tfl.nu/wbdd
  Replies (9) Good night (2003) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Holy high batman

  (408): View more from California

  The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Holy high batman (408): The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course http://tfl.nu/9imx
  Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day. http://tfl.nu/fi0j
  Replies (4) Good night (581) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/8eoi
  Replies (6) Good night (831) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this. http://tfl.nu/uwka
  Replies (10) Good night (641) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it. http://tfl.nu/r2m1
  Replies (3) Good night (285) Bad night (629)

Randomize