He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception