Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head

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  (540): Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head http://tfl.nu/ec63
  Replies (2) Good night (2651) Bad night (642)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant

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  (425): i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant http://tfl.nu/up0m
  Replies (54) Good night (5152) Bad night (1730)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.

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  (785): Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend. http://tfl.nu/tpw6
  Replies (26) Good night (847) Bad night (5673)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.

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  (813): I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type. (1-813): Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type. http://tfl.nu/055q
  Replies (90) Good night (8164) Bad night (1806)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?

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  (303): Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead? http://tfl.nu/o3ef
  Replies (18) Good night (8125) Bad night (2327)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking

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  (917): You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking http://tfl.nu/a0v5
  Replies (11) Good night (3715) Bad night (1169)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....

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  (757): You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors.... http://tfl.nu/43xp
  Replies (4) Good night (3579) Bad night (1974)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?

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  (507): security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs? http://tfl.nu/7ki8
  Replies (5) Good night (2523) Bad night (1023)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.

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  (540): It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd. http://tfl.nu/h39y
  Replies (8) Good night (2415) Bad night (1272)
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  (714): View more from California

  I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed

  (949): View more from California

  Someone's stooooned

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  (714): I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed (949): Someone's stooooned http://tfl.nu/d50z
  Replies (13) Good night (2038) Bad night (685)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.

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  (717): I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples. http://tfl.nu/i9sk
  Replies (7) Good night (785) Bad night (358)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.

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  (403): It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this. http://tfl.nu/72jz
  Replies (3) Good night (775) Bad night (341)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.

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  (307): Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged. http://tfl.nu/ec83
  Replies (4) Good night (896) Bad night (386)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me

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  (+44): Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me http://tfl.nu/vnu7
  Replies (1) Good night (328) Bad night (446)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.

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  (956): There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried. http://tfl.nu/mygr
  Replies (0) Good night (524) Bad night (377)

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