I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
