Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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