her vagine was all disorganized.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
