Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
