The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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