I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
