Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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