There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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