Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
