your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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