i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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