Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my shit smells like andre
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
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