im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
