he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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