end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize