At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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