what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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