Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
