This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
