Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
