did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
