Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
