he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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