i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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