Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have feelings that need drinking.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
