she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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