Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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