I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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