I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
