Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
