she was so not down for the gang bang
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
