Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
