She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
