He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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