hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
