it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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