He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
