North Korea, Best Korea!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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