She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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