I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
