Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I CAN MOONWALK!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
