dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
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I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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