now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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