I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize