Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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