covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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