dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
