a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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