Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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