We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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