I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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