that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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