That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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