I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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