when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
